The Ex Files

Recently a friend of mine ended a long term relationship. In an attempt to console her I pointed out that eventually (once the sadness subsides) that they would most likely transition into having a healthy platonic friendship. She immediately killed that ray of hope by saying, "The past is the past and it should stay there."

Why?

I thought to myself, why burn the bridge to your past for no reason? She became more positional telling me how odd she felt it was that I maintained friendships with many of my exes and how she thought it was an exercise in futility.

Until she brought it to my attention, I never really considered how many past boyfriends I'm still in contact with. As I went down the list of serious relationships to regrettable flings, I realized that I do in fact have friendships with the majority of these men.

I started to think about this.

The time shared with someone you are intimate with tends to be deep. If you thought enough of someone to share quality time (holidays, birthdays, family get-togethers, social occasions big and small) it seems awfully dismissive to cut all ties because you no longer have a romantic future. This person was above all your friend.

Now they are a bridge to your past, a link to people and experiences that are gone. Isn't this worth something?

Who knows... maybe my friend is right, maybe I should arbitrarily throw all these memories away for no other reason then spite.

Well, come to think of it there's that one guy, the closet arsonist, I suppose I could lose that one.